Process of Writing a Thesis Statement

Take a seat at one of the tables in the library. This seems like a good choice. The library is probably the appropriate location to get work done. Take a sip of coffee. Oh. Okay the librarian is asking me not to drink my coffee in here. Proceed to set the cup on the ground. Continue to work without coffee. Note the musty smell of the library, and the oppressive air conditioning. Contemplate whether the smell of old books can be bottled because it just smells so good. Think about sticking one’s face in the centerfold of an old book to get maximum old-book smells. Think the better of it.

Try to focus on the creation of a stellar thesis. One that employs at least three Quack words. Wonder if three might be too lofty a goal. Commence mini-pep talk within your head: Nothing’s too lofty a goal, you’re an AP student now! Shudder internally at the corny thing you have just done. Try once again to write a thesis. Stare longingly at the coffee cup on the ground. Reach down. If I can just– nope the Librarian is shaking her head. Slump under the disappointing weight of a failed scheme. Sit back up and type some words. Any words. At this point we’re hoping the thesis just pops into existence from within the intimidating bleakness that is an empty pages document. Read the words you just typed. Delete them all. Stare once again into the laptop screen. Really stare that puppy down. Try to see the thesis hiding behind the flickering pixels on the screen. Give up on hide and seek. Decide to write a blog post about writing a thesis instead. Quickly sneak a sip of coffee.